Why do we hold onto our misery/depression...

I was thinking the other day just how different my life and more specifically how different I had become from a couple of years ago. I really am in a different place and living a completely different reality than what I was a couple of years ago, yet my life really hasnt changed at all. What has changed dramatically is how I experience my life now. I think back and cringe at the thought of what my life could be like at this moment if I had of kept going the way I was 2 years ago and its not a pretty sight! 2 years ago, I would have never thought that I could be living life the way Im living it now; happy, relaxed and stress-free (well relatively....). Back then, all I could think of was misery, doom and gloom and why me and I couldnt see past that. All my thoughts were clouded with depression and negativity. This is what defined me. I didnt like it, actually I hated it, but I didnt know who I was without it. I couldnt see that I would just be me without the cloud of misery distorting my reality.

My misery and depression became my story. This is how I related to people to a certain extent. My payoff would be hearing other people's stories and making myself feel better by knowing that I wasnt the only person feeling a certain way at the time or that at least my life wasnt as bad as someone else's. This was me playing the victim and the payoff was having people say oh poor kylie and receiving the sympathy from others. Maybe, this is what I was scared to let go of. Where would my payoff be, if it wasnt the sympathy vote?

Well....misery is no longer my story and I am no longer the victim, so where is my payoff now. To be honest, I dont know. Maybe I dont need a payoff now, Im emotionally strong to no longer need external payoffs.

I think this is the true power of the work of transformational wellness. You dont need to change your life to change your experience of it. You can just shift your reality and the world will instantly change for you; as it has done for me.

Helping my childrens behaviour

The amazing healing of transformational wellness has certainly helped me get my life back and I am a much happier person today. The days I find difficult to deal with are when my children's (now 2 and 5) behaviour is challenging. That is when they refuse to listen, are totally defiant and everything is a stuggle. These type of days do my head in and previously I use to struggle big time dealing with this type of behaviour, but now I am able to cope in a more productive way. Needless, to say it is still exhausting and incredibly frustrating, so I asked Terri if she could come up with a program that would help children to behave better. I think that the craziness and stress of our lifestyles impacts our children in a negative way and sometimes, they just get overwhelmed and cannot cope, which results in negative behaviour, which makes parenting really hard work some days.

Thankfully, Terri did come up with a program to help take the stress out of little ones brains to enable them to cope better with everyday stresses in life. I have been trialling her childrens programs over the last 12 - 18 months and it definitely makes a difference in my children, especially my 5 year old. I just play the CD over night while they sleep and the next day, I find that my 5 year old is able to listen much better and the best thing that has improved for him is that he is no longer showing aggressive behaviour. Previously, he would get quite aggressive towards me whenever I said 'No' to him. Now that aggression is no longer there. Does it make my children behave like angels, NO, but it does allow me to parent more effectively because they do listen better and parenting is not so much hard work which makes me much happier and my kids happier.

Having Emotional Freedom

Over the past 2 years I have worked with Terri to help get me to a really great place and she has been able to learn about the human body and specifically how the brain and mind work to sabotage our lives through the misery that has been my life.

I have just had a session with Terri to experience her latest work and WOW!!!, Oh my God, this is amazing stuff. I cannot explain how I feel apart from nothing on this earth. I feel like I have complete freedom of the mind and body. I dont feel limited by my thoughts or feelings or beliefs. I almost feel super-human in that I could do anything. I feel emotionally stronger than I have ever felt in my life. I honestly feel great and really excited about life. After my session which was very relaxing, I just wanted to jump around and throw my hands in the air, I felt that fantastic. I couldnt contain my excitement and how amazing I felt.

This new work is truly amazing and will totally transform you life. I still cant wipe the smile off my face, Im feeling soooooo good. YAY.....bring it on!!!!!

Finding a REAL solution

At one of my hypnotherapy sessions, my therapist could see that I was struggling to cope and he gave me a card for Terri Bowman and mentioned that she had an amazing gift and that he trusted her with his life and maybe I should give her a call. I took the card and went home.

At home I pondered what my therapist had said and sat holding the card for awhile. Eventually I figured I had nothing to loose and called. This call turned out to be my saviour. Terri's amazing gift enables her to heal our bodies in a way no other medicine can. Her ability to work in the quantum world and heal the physical body is miraculous.

Today I feel the best I have ever felt. Emotionally, I am stronger than ever and the things that use to cause me to be overwhelmed and unhappy are no longer an issue. It is the most amazing feeling to actually feel alive and want to live, rather than just go through the motions of life and miss the beauty. I cannot recommend Terri's work enough, she is a truly beautiful person.

Information on her work can be found at http://www.transformational-wellness.com/

Being Depressed

Every day, I was just going through the motions. Doing what I had to do for my kids and that was about it. I was constantly tired, grumpy, on-edge, unhappy and really quite horrible to be around. I yelled at my kids most of the day because they would not leave me alone and I just wanted to hide under a rock and never come out again. I was in HUGE inner turmoil and really unable to see any light at the end of the tunnel, but I perservered, as difficult as it was. I didnt have a choice, I had 2 children who needed me more than I needed myself and I guess I just gave in to this and just went through the motions of caring for my children and not much else.

My distorted sense of reality

My emotional state was starting to crumble again and I was finding it hard to see the positives in life. I felt really overwhelmed by my life and children and focused on all the negative things in my life at the time, which really weren't even a truth, but they were my reality. My husband tried all sorts of things to try and get me to focus on what was great in my life, and I tried doing this, but I would always end up feeling unhappy. I started to feel like I didnt belong here, that everyone around me would be better off if I wasnt here. I was starting to tip over the edge.

I felt like the world was out to get me, but I couldnt understand why. I was thinking all the time, why me, why is this happening to me, why do I feel like crap, why is my life so miserable when everyone around me is happy. Why are my children so needy, why cant I give them what they want? Why can't everyone just leave me alone!

Recovery from MRSA

It wasnt until I got back home that it really sunk in how lucky I had been. If the infection had gotten into my blood stream, I could have died.

While at home I was still on antibiotics for another week (tablets) and had to check in with the doctor at infectious diseases. I found that I was quite weak and I was having trouble feeding my daughter again. On a couple of occasions I had nearly fainted and realised that I still had to take things easy. Thankfully my mum was still staying with us and she was able to help out. I did end up in emergency one night because I was feeling really ill. It turned out that I was quite dehydrated and put on drip to get my fluids up and then I was fine. It probably took another few weeks to fully recover from the infection.

Over this period, my daughter had gotten rather attached to the bottle and it was difficult to re-establish breastfeeding. At about 12 weeks, I gave up and put her on formula full-time. I feel like I didn't really have a choice, I didn't have the energy to keep trying and she was much more settled on the bottle than the boob anyway. I guess it just wasn't meant to be.