A year ago, I was ready to walk out on my family and never see them again, or worse, I had thoughts about driving myself and my kids into a tree while in the car and never having to live another day in my life. Why......well, in reflection, because I felt so overwhelmed by everything going on in my life at that time that I couldnt handle another second of it. I was depressed, suffering from anxiety and deeply deeply unhappy with my life. From the outside looking in, I guess I appeared to have the perfect life, a loving husband, nice home, 2 beautiful children, I just couldnt see any of that. All I could focus on was the constant whining of my 2 children, living in a house I hated and hating myself. Anyone who has suffered from depression, knows how overwhelming the feelings of helplessness and loss are. I put on a brave face to the outside world, but inside I was slowly dying and I felt like I had to walk away from my family so they wouldnt die with me, at least thats how I felt at the time.
Since having my children (first 2005, second 2008) I have never been the same person. You naturally change to accomodate your children who become the most important thing in the world to you. This changes you and I certainly wasnt prepared for the enormity of this change and how it would impact on me. I struggled with this and knew that I wasnt handling things the way I should be, so I sought help from various avenues, ie. social workers, counsellers, psychologists and hypnotherapists. Sadly, none of these options really worked for me, they helped at the time, but nothing was long lasting. I declined to take anti-depressants that my GP suggested I might want to look at as I didnt want a quick fix for this, I wanted to find the answers to why I was feeling the way I was and how to overcome it without adding a cocktail of chemicals to my body. Thankfully I did and her name is Terri Bowman. I wish to use this blog to tell my story of how I overcame depression and the fantastic NEW technology that Terri has created to heal our body and minds through the subconscious and superconscious and how we can manifest a fantastic reality for ourselves.
